Wednesday, January 16, 2008

BONUS VIDEO!

It's only four seconds long but it has more laughs than some of my entire four-minute sketches!




Okay, here's why that video exists: An entire three-minute sketch exists that will never see the light of day. The whole sketch was me on a phone pitching an idea for a movie to Jerry Bruckheimer. The movie I was pitching was about the possessed severed penis of a long-dead serial killer. The penis comes to life in modern times and kills by wrapping itself around the neck of its victim, thinking about something really hot, then getting a boner and snapping the victim's head off like a dandelion. The whole maneuver is called the Irish Guillotine. After I successfully pitch the movie to Bruckheimer, noting that the movie couldn't possibly be worse than Con Air or Pearl Harbor, I get up, I celebrate, I ask what I did with my dildo that I used as a prop earlier in the sketch, and it hits me in the face for no reason.

Anyway, I went into filming with the basic rundown of the plot of the sketch in my head and just tried to improvise the whole thing. I decided not to put the final video up anywhere because it ran way too long, and it wasn't very funny. Oh, and it also has me using the word "nigger" on camera. Apparently some people don't like it when white people throw that word around. News to me. So when I watched the final sketch, the only part that was funny was the hit with the dildo. My friend Craig held the camera with one hand and chucked the dildo at me with the other. I didn't think it would hurt all that much, so my girly scream is pretty much a real reaction. Look for me getting hit in the face with a dildo to turn into a series. I already wrote a new sketch called "Dildorang"

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