Moldy Bagels: Episode 2 (Part One)

I go entire months without ever updating this blog because nobody reads it, and nobody reads it because I never regularly update. It's a vicious cycle. It also doesn't help that the blog is unfunny and boring. I'm in the process of writing the fourth episode of the public access show right now, so I'll take a minute to finally post the second and third episodes here. This is part one of the second episode:

Check out the intro. Do you like how our mini-fridge and microwave are both right next to the front door? I finally got around to giving that stuff to Goodwill, but I'll be damned if that wasn't the classiest home decorating decision ever made.

If neither of these sketches work, at least the shot of me belting out Wanted Dead or Alive in my boxers will dispel the grossly wrong myth that I'm really skinny. I asked three people at work how much they think I weigh. Two of them said 160 and another said 165, which are just a tad underweight for a 6'5" man and only off by 50 and 45, respectively. Then again, maybe people will be too blinded by my staggering paleness to even see accurately. The real kicker is one hour in the sun gives me a perfect tan, yet I haven't gone outdoors since 1998. God likes to give gifts to people who don't use or appreciate them because he's kind of a dick.