Crapstick Doodle Episode 9

It's another cartoon! This one's pretty funny! Ten facts! Go!

1. Crank: High Voltage is fucking awesome. Based on the box office numbers, nobody bothered to see it. Get the fuck to the theater and fix that problem now. In the first five minutes a man gets scraped off the road with a snow shovel, some asshole puts out a cigarette on another man's exposed heart, and Jason Statham anally rapes someone with a shotgun. And honestly, that's some of the mildest stuff in the movie.

2. The whole terrorism scenario comes from an old stand-up comedy bit I wrote a few years ago about being in spelling bees. It plays a lot better when it's actually being acted out and not just said by one guy.

3. That picture of the child with the insults printed in front of him is actually me at the age of 12.

4. I know that the turbans that the Arab terrorists are wearing are horrible. I tried cutting and pasting a yellowish, orangish turban from a picture of a Sikh onto them, but it looked awful, and it probably speaks to my ignorance that I would find Sikh and Arab turbans completely interchangeable. They actually looked like really preppy blond haircuts, so I colored them white and penciled in some ragged looking lines.

5. This video is obviously heavily based on my life, but I honestly wasn't really bullied or beaten up all that much, and especially not over the spelling bee. The only time I was ever teased really bad was when I was on the basketball and soccer teamss in 4th grade, and I've never had my ass kicked in my life, so as they tend to do in comedy, this was very exaggerated.

6. Last Wednesday I visited Muncie to see some of my Ball State friends, and apparently over the course of the night a girl was walking down the street carrying a case of beer, and a cop talked to her to ask about a string of break-ins in the area, and being under 21 she dropped the beer and ran into the house where I was hanging out, apparently believing that if you run away from the fucking police and get out of their sight for a second they'll forget they ever saw you and just leave.

They knock on the door, I answer, and a cop tells me that he isn't here to bust anyone for drinking, he just wants to talk to a girl that he described as Caucasian and probably wearing red, and he wants anyone close to that description to come out and talk to him. Being drunk at the time I immediately say, "The first thing I do when I show up at a party is immediately seek out all of the white girls too, so I know where you're coming from!" The cop actually laughed pretty hard.

7. When I tried to draw a hot chick, that was really the best I could do. All I could do was make her really short and wear pink. If it wasn't for the audio you really probably wouldn't even be able to tell that the abomination I drew was even a fucking woman at all.

8. I'm not really a music guy. I've already blown through almost my entire music collection with those intros. By episode 12 I'll definitely have to start repeating artists. I'm glad I got to use Bowie on a good episode though.

9. He anally rapes him with a fucking shotgun. Come on!

10. Seriously