College Football is SOOOOO Much Better Than the NFL

Most sports fans that I know think college football is way better than the NFL. Fuck them. Fuck them in their stupid ham heads. "Hey dude, college football is so much more real than the pro game. They're not about money and commercialism like the NFL is." Yeah, a big strong kid from Arizona who was recruited by Michigan is totally playing for the glory of his school. Someone playing for a school on the other side of the country because they offered him the best benefits and most exposure to pro scouts is so different from an NFL player going to a team because they offered him the most money, right? Eat shit. And I'm sure nobody has monetary interest in the 110,000 tickets Ohio State sells every home game and Notre Dame's national TV contract. All they care about is tossin' the pigskin around, aren't they? There's no business angle whatsoever. Eat a cock sandwich.

Then they tell me "But the games are so much more exciting! The rivalries! The upsets!" God I hate you. What in the fuck makes you think college football where everybody sucks and the level of play is sub-dogshit compared to the NFL is more entertaining? Do you like watching little league more than Major League Baseball too? I could watch a college football game between two of the best teams in the nation and see maybe three or four extraordinary players who are going to the NFL, or I could watch the actual NFL and see 53 pro-level players on each side. As for the games themselves, 90% of them blow ass. I admit huge upsets at the college level are really cool to see, but in the time you sat through dozens of dull-ass four hour blowouts (4 hours instead of 3 because EVERY FUCKING PLAY STOPS THE CLOCK) to see one upset, you could have watched the NFL which promises at least eight entertaining games every Sunday. Don't believe me that college football is a boring pile of shit? Look at the scores for today's games:

Bowling Green 27
Pittsburgh 17

Penn State 66
Coastal Carolina 10

South Florida 56
Tennessee-Martin 7

Brigham Young 41
Northern Iowa 17

East Carolina 27
Virginia Tech 22

Wisconsin 38
Akron 17

Kansas 40
Florida International 10

Texas 52
Florida Athletic 10

Texas Tech 49
Eastern Washington 24

Alabama 34
Clemson 10

Auburn 34
Louisiana-Monroe 0

West Virginia 48
Villanova 21

LSU 41
Appalachian State 13

Florida 56
Hawaii 10

Okalhoma 57
Chattanooga 2

Ohio State 43
Youngstown State 0

USC 52
Virginia 10

Georgia 45
Georgia Southern 21

There are three more sucky games that are still going on as I write this. I'm not going to include them because they aren't over, but none of them are currently looking to be significantly more exciting. So out of 18 finished games, fucking two were determined by 10 points or less. What appeal does a sporting organization hold for anyone when 90% of its games are blowout snoozers that are essentially over before halftime? There isn't even a real championship, it's just a game between whatever one-loss teams were lucky enough to have their one loss happen at the beginning of the season instead of the end. Seriously, what kind of a woolwit cock would you have to be to prefer this money-driven, boring, poorly played bullshit? Somebody e-mail me and tell me what I'm missing here.