Just look at that pun! Fucking look at it! High. How are you? A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Instead of Hi it said High, because the character is high......... ON POT!!! GIVE ME A BUCKET BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING STOP CRYING LAUGHING!!!!! Oooh, ooh, ha ha...... yeah, okay, I'm calmed down now. I haven't seen a pun this hilarious since that time I saw a drawing of a grape passed out on a bed while another grape fucks it and you see the message "Date Grape." Oh dear lord, I love myself a good pun.
But honestly, this is probably the most annoying movie I've ever seen. Anna Faris plays this aspiring actress who usually spends all of her time sitting around at home getting high. Then one day she gets really high and then eats her roommate's pot brownies on top of that, so now she has to pay her dealer, pay the electric bill, make new brownies, and go to an audition...... except she's really, really stoned. Isn't that hilarious? I mean, I'll bet her being really high leaves her ill-suited to complete these tasks.
Here is the formula for every single scene in the movie:
1. Anna Faris, acting very stoned and annoying the living fuck out of me, slowly wanders into a mundane situation
2. She tries to complete a simple task but she's too stoned to do it.
3. The sober character in the scene realizes she's on something and asks her if she's high
4. She says she isn't, and tries to leave, but can't because she's too hilariously stoned
5. A loud noise or a slightly unusual looking extra causes Anna Faris to scream in terror and react like a frightened rabbit and run away.
And that same shit happens over and over. Have you ever tried to get somebody who's really high to do anything even remotely functional, and just found yourself fucking annoyed with how slow, dopey, and worthless they are and how obnoxiously loud they laugh and how they stretch common words out to make even normal exchanges as excruciating as being curb stomped by Derek Vinyard? Well, if you want to live out 90 consecutive minutes of that irritation with Anna Faris laughing like an idiot, forgetting things that happened 10 seconds ago, and saying shit like "I'm HON-gray!" then this is the movie for you.
This movie is allegedly a comedy, but there aren't any jokes to be found. There are literally no jokes. The only stuff you're supposed to laugh at is Faris's reaction shots and wacky effervescence. Apparently all the humor is supposed to come from Anna Faris's performance. Every dipshit movie critic on Earth has her pegged as some kind of comedic genius whose amazing talents are squandered by movies that aren't worthy of her talent. They act like it's not her fault that she keeps appearing in shitty movies, like some bad guy is throwing her in front of cameras and forcing her to be in these turds. They act as if she didn't sign on to be in those movies and nobody gave her a script beforehand. If she's such a great fucking comedic force, she should know enough about what's funny to read the scripts for Just Friends, Smiley Face, and The House Bunny to know that they're pieces of shit and stay away.
According to the package, advertising, and the narrator in the movie, Jane F, the main character, goes on one of the craziest, wildest, most fucked up journeys ever, and boy let me tell you, this movie does not disappoint. First, she sits in her apartment for two hours. Then she tries to make brownies and burns them. Then she goes to the audition. After that, she runs into a guy who has a crush on her, they go to the dentist's office, and she sits in the waiting room for an hour. Later, she shows up at an old woman's house and pretends to know her husband. She stays there for a while, then hitches a ride on a truck, then hitches a ride on a motorcycle, and then she rides a Ferris Wheel. I haven't had an adventure that crazy since every fucking weekend of my life.
I rented this movie from a nearby Movie Gallery. I somewhat recently moved into the area so I went there to rent a movie and start an account. When I walked in this old woman who worked there charged toward me and spent five minutes describing everything I can rent or buy from the store, never shutting up and never letting me just fucking look around. After going over every single section and genre in the rentals, she forced me to look at the bin of used games available for purchase, pointing out that I can buy used games for nearly every gaming system, including "The Cube" and "The Box". When she finally left me alone, I picked up Smiley Face and went to the counter to register for an account. The same old woman asked for my information, hunt and peck typed every word in, and had to completely start over whenever she made a mistake. And she fucked up about three times for every one bit of information I gave her. Literally 25 minutes after I first entered the store, I finally had an account, and the store manager gave me the rental for free out of pity.
The point is, I still feel like I paid way too fucking much to watch this shit. Director Gregg Araki, who has spent all of his middle aged years making movies that irrelevantly spout off about disaffected teenagers and people in their early twenties, aka something he hasn't been a part of for twenty-five years, has proven that he can torture me with comedy just as effectively as he can with drama. Hats off to you, asshole.
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