Terrible the Paper: Round Two

I'll just get our two-part series on Brett Favre out of the way now. I ramped up the MS Paint badness up a notch by making it so that you can't even tell what the fuck is going on in the picture. This article is by me as well.

Brett Favre Places Bodies of Cincinnati Bengals in Jerricho Cotchery's Locker as Prank

New York, NY - Jets quarterback Brett Favre, looking to one-up not only his winning effort against the woeful Bengals, but also the practical joke in which he put a dead turkey in linebacker Eric Barton's locker, took things up a notch by hunting down and killing the entire Cincinnati Bengals team and placing their dead bodies inside the locker of wide receiver Jerricho Cotchery as another hilarious prank.

"Dat right there was some straight up sick shit," Cotchery said, "but it was funny as fuck too." The receiver later went on to explain, "I thought it was weird when I heard (deceased Bengals WR) Chad (Johnson) screaming that somebody shot him with an arrow and was skinning him alive, but I didn't think much of it because it was probably only the third bat-shit craziest thing that dumb motherfucker has said this week."

On pulling the prank the legendary quarterback said, "Honestly, I'm more surprised than anything by how easy that team was to hunt down and murder. Carson was already close to bleeding to death before I even found him," he said of Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer, who so far this season has bled profusely from his face more times than he's thrown touchdowns. Favre went on to say, "I thought (Bengals RB Chris) Perry would be at least a little tough to catch since he's a running back and I'm not a very fast runner, but he only made it 2.8 yards before falling on his face. I almost felt bad when I shot him between the eyes with my Winchester rifle. The key word there is almost."

Jets teammates who witnessed the prank also had a good laugh. "Shit was so motherfuckin' funny, it almost made me forget how sad I be that Mac Dre died," rookie cornerback Dwight Lowery said, "Nigga, I don't think that old-ass cracker QB coulda got all 53 Bengals in dat locker if it weren't for their offensive line bein' too puny to even have a chance at protectin' the quarterback and creating an effective runnin' game 'n shit."

The city of Cincinnati is in a period of great mourning, although the sudden death of all of the Bengals players has caused absolutely no change in experts' predictions for the team's final record.