Sega Genesis
This is Sega's 1989 answer to the NES. Its hardware capabilities blew the NES out of the water, and were equally blown out of the water by the SNES two years later. When the competition between the Genesis and SNES heated up, Sega sold their console as the cooler one, with a bunch of rad terms like Blast Processing. You see, Blast Processing meant that the Genesis would turn everything else off and use the system's power solely on making a single object move really fast. Even back in the relative technological stone age of the early 90's this was some pretty weak shit. It would be like a car company claiming to have awesome turbo charged air conditioning because air blows harder out of one vent when you close the other three.
Neo-Geo
A console that existed as an arcade platform as well as a costly home console. In existence for fourteen years before finally being discontinued, it's hands down the coolest fucking thing ever. Seriously, ever. Offering awesome colorful graphics and amazing sound, it was and still is the best home gaming experience ever conceived. The huge drawback is that the home version launched at a price of $650, and new games cost $200 at the cheapest. That something as awesome as this even came out in the first place is proof of the existence of god, and the price is proof that he hates poor people, but then again we already knew that.
To the people who say I love everyone equally: How do you explain the Neo-Geo? And Africa.NEC TURBOGRAFX-16
Released in 1989, this console attempted to compete with the NES and the Genesis. It couldn't compete with the NES because Nintendo's monopolizing practices wouldn't allow anyone to make games for it, and its war with the Genesis, which launched around the same time, was over before it even began because its launch titles failed to match the accolades of the Genesis launch title Altered Beast. When you consider that Altered Beast is an ugly, boring, simplistic piece of shit that takes about 30 minutes to beat, an unflattering picture is painted.
This fucking piece of shit impressed people? This??? Are you fucking kidding me?I thought the TurboGrafx-16 was an unimportant footnote in the history of gaming, but then I looked up its Wikipedia entry, which is an astonishing 8,128 words long. For reference, Wikipedia's entry on The Pentagon is 2,916 words long, while the entry on AIDS is 8,138 words long. I found that the TurboGrafx-16 is actually over two and a half times more important than the center of military defense for the richest and most powerful nation on earth, and roughly as equally important as the disease that is currently ravaging the entire continent of Africa.
Super Nintendo
This is the system that absorbed most of my childhood. From the first day I got a Super Nintendo to the many sleepless nights of playing Super Mario World, Star Fox, Donkey Kong Country, Actraiser, Mega Man X, Chrono Trigger, Pilotwings, and every other amazing SNES game I played, it was a source of constant joy. I was so addicted that everything else in my life, be it family, friends, class, sports, girls, food, holidays, parades, birthday parties, sleepovers, or personal hygiene, was just shit that wasted my time that I impatiently wanted to be over so I could get back to playing games. My parents were concerned and staged multiple interventions for me, telling me that spending so much time with a controller in my hand was causing me to miss out on all of the great things in my life, and when I'm older and looking back on my childhood, I'll realize that things like friends, studying, or playing baseball were way more important. Well, my childhood is over, I've looked back and all I have to say is I can't remember the names of any of my childhood friends, my 16 years of education got me a job waiting tables, and I'm sure as shit not writing a book about how great it was to play second base.
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