Wacky NFL Nicknames

Hell yeah, look at that picture. People who read blogs hate when it's only words, so I'm trying to have at least one picture on all posts. The NFL season is so fucking close I can smell it. When I was very young in Michigan City I used to watch games with my dad. I was all about the Jim Harbaugh-led Colts back then. After him I've had to endure ten years of this douchebag named Peyton Manning who can't seem to win a game for the life of him.

Anyway, my dad always used to have clever, cute little nicknames for the teams that sucked or he didn't like. He called the Colts the "Dolts", the Bears the "Who cares?", the Saints were the "Ain'ts," etc. In honor of the greatest sports league on earth and as an homage to those names, I've come up with clever little nicknames for every team in the NFL. I tried to use rhymes and subtle little wordplays. You can use these on your friends!

NFC South
-Atlanta Falcan'ts
-Tampa Bay Suckaneers
-New Whoreland Saints
-Carolina Manthers

NFC West
-Seattle Peehawks
-San Francisco 69ers
-St. Poo-is Rams
-Arizona Douchebags

NFC North
-Green Bay Assholes
-Chicago Dickheads
-Minnesota Cocksuckers
-Detroit Shiteaters

NFC East
-New York Cockrammers
-Dallas Fucktasters
-Philadelphia Felchers
-Washington Rapists

AFC South
-Indianapolis Whoremongering Shitfaces
-Houston Buttfucking Wastes of Sperm
-Jacksonville Dickbreathed Fecalphiliacs
-Tennessee Fuckspewing Sperm Farmers

AFC West
-San Diego Syphilis Infested Vaginal Cum Bubbles
-Kansas City Shitmunching Hobos Who Suck Cock for Heroin
-Oakland Emotionally Damaged Coeds Who Like Being Pissed On To Get Closure On Their Relationships With Their Fathers
-Denver Sexually Depraved Freaks Who Masturbate to Bukkake Films

AFC North
-Pittsburgh Cannibalistic Natives Who Believe That Eating The Anuses of Their Foes Will Result in Gaining Their Power
-Cleveland Renal Failures
-Cincinnati Fetal Alcohol Babies
-Baltimore Drug Addicts Who Pimp Out Their 9-Year Old Children To Get Their Next Smack Fix (Crap, Baltimore actually has a lot of those. This one hits a little too close to home)

AFC East
-Buffalo Dildo-Ramming Buttplug Sniffers
-New York Impolite Gentlemen
-Miami LOL-phins
-New England Unbelievable Cocksucking Shitfaced Asspounding Animal Rapists Who Masturbate To Snuff Films Because They're The Worst Motherfucking Wastes of Life That God Has Ever Conceived And It's Apparent That God Was Completely Hammered When He Thought It Was a Good Idea To Allow This Awful Fucking Team To Exist And The Fact That God Has Yet To Smite Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, Rodney Harrison, And The Rest of Those Shit-Crunching Bitchfaces Is A Greater Travesty Than The Holocaust, Darfur Genocides, Internment of Japanese-Americans During World War II And Grey's Anatomy Combined!!!!!!! EAT A FUCKING BAG OF COCKS YOU INCEST-HAVING RACIST DICKSHITS!!!!!!!!

Have a great football season!