Making Stephen Strasburg Better

This is Washington Nationals rookie phenom pitcher Stephen Strasburg. He's so awesome that all kinds of sportswriters declared him one of the best pitchers of all-time before playing a single major league game. In his first three starts he's posted a record of 2-0, an ERA of 1.86, a WHIP of 0.78, motherfucking 32 strikeouts, and opposing batters are only hitting .149 against him. I'd compare him to Jesus if it wasn't so horribly offensive to do so. Implying that Jesus holds a candle to him is an unforgivable insult against Strasburg's greatness.

I assumed it was impossible to make him any better, but I was wrong. In my recent visits to the GameFAQs baseball message board, many of us have been actively participating in a topic where the goal is to take the above picture of Strasburg and use the magic of MS Paint to make him better. The results were stunning. Check it out:


Philumcious Phil infused him with Tyrannosaurus power:


I made this one. I feel it's a shame Strasburg has to live the life of a mere mortal baseball player when he was clearly meant to be a Greek god:


MantleNotMouse served up this gem, and then shouted "Cowabunga!", ate a shitload of pizza, and made sarcastic comments for good measure:


Philumcious Phil fired right back with this:


aLpHaTaBs_V2 was also on an 80's nostalgia high:

I always knew the Brady parents were disappointed as shit with their kids, so I made this image to give them the awesome child they wish they had:

SpyroNinja delivered this piece of Spartan-themed win. Despite being created with MS Paint, the muscles somehow manage to look less fake than the painted-on abs that the stars of 300 rocked out.

This is also from SpyroNinja. As far as he's concerned, pitching in a Major League Baseball game is no reason you can't get wet.

sktgamer_13dude believes that embarrassingly misspelled embroidery should be reused instead of thrown away. Way to go green, brother.

Courtesy of "the wheel", if admitting that their old pizza was shitty doesn't rehabilitate the image of Dominos, this certainly will.

aLpHaTaBs_V2 understands better than anyone that you don't fucking need to field balls when you strike everyone out.

This is another masterwork from yours truly. You know, as far as I'm concerned, as long as Strasburg continues to get over 10 strikeouts per start, he's earned the right to chop Shelley Duvall into as many pieces as he wants.

Warning from aLpHaTaBs_V2: Prolonged exposure to Stephen Strasburg may cause bouts of epileptic seizures.

Darth Rustito's masterpiece needs no introduction.

VerySikTodayII gives us a harrowing look at what could have been, had Montreal been allowed to continue to befoul a game that's as American as apple pie, bald eagles, and bombing brown people.

I could write an iPod-related pun for this one, but the one SpyroNinja provides is better than anything I would have written, so I'll leave it alone.

Another piece from the wheel. I have a feeling that ball might not be regulation.

Baseball is a sport where over the course of a season you play the same game over and over 162 times, and some guys do it professionally for over 20 years, but that's somehow considerably less repetitive than being the guy from this picture I made:

Not even a talent as pure and beautiful as Strasburg is immune to douchification, as aLpHaTaBs_V2 so ably displays:

There is a powerful hidden meaning to this series of images from SpyroNinja, but it will take at least 6 hours of study and contemplation before you see it.

In this image I made, Strasburg makes us all wish Turok would put his dinosaur hunting skills to better use.

Is there dirt or pine tar on this baseball? I'll eat my own shoe before I believe that Philumcious Phil could ever tell the difference.

This isn't fair, aLpHaTaBs_V2, and you know it.

And we finish with one last picture from my favorite artist: Me. Stephen Strasburg can tell that Torgo is a bad guy because of his enlarged knees.