Why they call him Solid Snake

COLONEL: Good job infiltrating the docks. Now for the purposes of this mission, you will be known as Solid Snake. Are we clear?

SNAKE: Crystal.

COLONEL: Good. Now do you see a waypoint to penetrate the defenses? I repeat, can Solid Snake penetrate?

SNAKE: The air ducts on the north and south ends of the facility look promising.

COLONEL: The enemy compound may look impregnable, but under the snowstorm you should be able to do it. I want Solid Snake to impregnate. (stifles a giggle) Do you copy?

SNAKE: Colonel, why are you talking like that?

COLONEL: I don't (starts laughing audibly).... I don't know what you mean

MASTER (To Colonel): Hey, can I talk to him? I've got a good one.

COLONEL: Snake, I'm putting Master Miller on the line.

MASTER: Snake, are you absolutely sure you brought the correct weaponry for this mission?

SNAKE: One hundred percent.

MASTER: And you have the correct ammo?

SNAKE: No doubt in my mind.

MASTER: So Solid Snake is not firing blanks. Do you copy?

(Colonel starts laughing hysterically)

SNAKE: No, I'm not.

MASTER: No, I want you to say it.

SNAKE: Why do I have to say it?

MASTER: It's.... uh..... it's like an official military protocol thingy. Just say it.

SNAKE: Hugh.... okay..... Solid Snake is not firing blanks

(Master and Colonel both start laughing hysterically)

SNAKE: Okay, what's so goddamn funny? I'm trying to get briefed on the mission and you're all laughing and making jokes. This operation has been too long and hard for me to get the shaft.

(Master and Colonel laugh so hard that tears stream down their cheeks)

SNAKE: It wasn't easy getting to become Solid Snake, and I sure as hell don't want this Solid Snake thing to blow up all over my face.

(Milk squirts out of Colonel's nose)

OTACON: Hey Colonel and Master, what's so funny?

COLONEL: It's nothing, Otacon. Go away

OTACON: Are you making Snake say dick jokes again?

MASTER: Yes, now go away before you ruin it.

OTACON: Oooh, guys! I've got a good one! Put me on, I've got a really good one!

COLONEL: Okay, Otacon, you know that one guy in a group of friends who completely ruins a joke by being way too obvious about it?

OTACON: No...

COLONEL: You don't know, because you are that fucking guy. Please leave us and go jerk off to Neo Sega Genesis Evangelism or something.

OTACON: It's Neon Genesis Evangelion

MASTER: Fag

COLONEL: Just please leave us alone

OTACON: I'm doing it.

(Otacon hacks into the Codec system, silencing Master and Colonel's frequencies and patching himself on the line with Snake)

OTACON: Hey Snake, could you say "I'll try not to blow it in anyone's hair" for me?

SNAKE: Why would I say.... oh, I see what you guys are doing.

COLONEL: I knew you'd ruin it.

MASTER: Fuck you, Otacon!