I bought this book from Barnes and Noble on Monday and just finished reading it on the shitter about 5 minutes ago. All of the names you'd expect (Tyson, A-Rod, TO, Vick, O.J, etc.) are represented and torn apart with absolutely no evidence or insight that you haven't repeatedly heard your entire life. When you aren't be dazzled with new and exciting information like "Manny Ramirez is a dingbat!" or "Terrell Owens is selfish!", you're regaled with Michael Freeman's observational brilliance, reasonable opinions, and wit. Here are a few things I've learned from this book:
-Ko-Me is a really clever nickname for Kobe Bryant that should be used at least five times per page.
-Stephen A. Smith is a great sports journalist
-John Daly is fat and drinks a lot. This is extremely funny, and you should make as many references to it as possible, even when it bears no relevance to the subject. Are you having trouble coming up with a wacky comparison to illustrate Terrell Owens' selfishness? Say he cares more about himself than John Daly cares about beer. Here is an actual joke taken from the book's chapter on Daly: "The reason Daly is now one of the worst golfers on the planet is because when he gets on a roll, he stops to eat it." Amazing.
-Last season Eagles receiver DeSean Jackson made an embarrassing error by catching a sure touchdown pass, streaking toward the end zone, and starting his celebration a split second too early, resulting in him dropping the ball on the one-yard line. By doing this Jackson wasn't simply making a silly rookie mistake, he was emphasizing celebrating over doing his job, in effect putting on a deplorable and disgusting minstrel show that brought shame upon all black men in America the moment it happened.
-Mike Gundy is a misogynist because the sports journalist he was yelling at during his infamous "I'm a man! I'm forty!" tirade was a woman. According to Freeman, any circumstance in which a man yells at a woman qualifies as "bullying misogyny". Apparently the proper way to address a woman trying to succeed in a man's world is to give her special treatment because of her gender.
-The Lakers were heavily favored over the Celtics in the 2008 NBA Finals.
-Posting on your blog real names and IP addresses of people who sent you angry e-mails specifically for the purpose of embarrassing them and invading their privacy is heroic, provided that those people hold different political views from you.
-If you've met Michael Freeman, corresponded with him, had him present at a significant moment in your career, or provide him with any other reason to personally inject himself into your story, you can expect to jump 30 or 40 spots higher on the list.
This is the most enlightening book I've ever read.
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