Crapstick Doodle: Episode 15

1. This is the 15th cartoon I've made, and the most views I've ever gotten is 250 for the first one. This is getting just a bit discouraging.

2. Like really discouraging.

3. The thumbnail is the AOL logo grinding mud into a couch while saying "Fuck yo' couch". Back in 2004 when we were fucking inundated with kids quoting Rick James and other such Dave Chappelle brilliance this kind of reference would have been the most annoyingly lame thing I could possibly do. In 2009 it's either a fun throwback that we're okay with laughing at again, or it's pathetically dated on top of being annoyingly lame. I should probably change that thumbnail now...

4. The piles of shit on the map are arranged in a discernible pattern with the exception of one spot in the northeast where there are like 6 piles all on top of each other. That's the Boston area, and it's not a coincidence.

5. With the exception of the silly shit at the end about an evil death box, this is more or less exactly what happened last week when I visited home.

6. Coming up with a fantasy football team name that distills a perfect level of hilarity and shocking offensiveness into 4 or 5 words is about as difficult as writing an entire comedy sketch.

7. Kroger Bistro Salads fucking rule. Their awesomeness is the only thing actually making me stick to my 1,500 calorie diet / daily exercise extreme weight loss routine I've been going through for the last week.

8. Xbox Live is the most distracting fucking thing ever. It's directly responsible for this cartoon taking about twice as long to make as it should have.

9. I'm unbelievably happy that I'm back at my old job. Cracker Barrel had all of this ridiculous shit like customers, rules, and managers who expect you to work hard. It was almost like a business over there.

10. While a fist going up a turtle's ass is funny, it's probably not funny enough to sustain a four-minute comedy video. Lesson learned. Wow, this has got to be the most miserable, self-defeating, not-even-attempting-to-be-funny blog post I've ever written.