Dear Diary,
I was driving around Florence, Kentucky and I noticed a small diner whose sign claims that they have the biggest Cookie Burgers in town. I've never seen a Cookie Burger in my life and I have no idea what they are, but here we have a store priding themselves on their Cookie Burgers as the main reason to come in. That's unusual enough, but remember that they claim to have the biggest ones in town, which means there's at least one other Cookie Burger vendor somewhere in the city, and they're probably bitter rivals. They're probably working day and night, dedicating their lives to outdoing and crushing their enemy in the name of pride as well as feeding their families. I'm not saying world peace is a completely impossible dream and we shouldn't even try to achieve it, but in a world where the size of Cookie Burgers can be a source of significant conflict, our chances are looking pretty fucking slim.
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