Banned from GameFAQs again

Well, I managed to run my mouth off and get banned from the GameFAQs message boards for about the 10th time in the last few months. It's no secret that this website has quite possibly the greatest number of dickweed moderators in the history of the internets. Here's a small list of some of the things that have gotten my main account or one of my alternate accounts banned:

-Staging a fake argument between me and one of my alternate accounts. One was my main account and one was my account named after morbidly obese free agent NFL quarterback Jared Lorenzen. After a dismal preseason performance in which Lorenzen essentially lost his chance at being the Colts third string quarterback, I posted a topic making fun of him and staged an argument where I made fun of Lorenzen's weight and failure to even hold onto a third or fourth string quarterbacking job, and my Jared_Lorenzen account responded by calling me a loser and implying that he has repeatedly fucked my girlfriend. Anyone with enough brain power to understand that sticking your dick in a fusebox is a bad idea could have figured out that I was behind both sides of the argument, and everyone who witnessed the scene found it hilarious, but the GameFAQs moderators felt that insulting myself was unacceptable. My main account received a temporary suspension and Jared_Lorenzen was banned forever.

-Saying "F***" in the place of the word "Fuck." According to the website's rules, the only acceptable way to swear is to blank out all four letters. According to the terms of service, saying "I don't know what the f*** is going on" is shocking enough to destroy society and all that we hold dear, while saying, "I am going to **** your three year old sister" is completely okay. Ooooh-kay, got it.

-Complaining that people constantly having their posts deleted or getting banned from the message board for completely innocent or innocuous offenses is getting out of control and making using the message boards no longer enjoyable. When I contested my punishment, a moderator succintly told me, "Talking about the board is off-topic." Lesson learned: talking about the message board you're on is irrelevant to the message board. All I have to say to that is What the F***? *Gets banned* Crap, I mean What the ****?

-Announcing that I'm taking a leave of absence from the board because I can no longer stand the moderators. The account I used to make the announcement was immediately banned. If I was a negative person I'd assume they arbitrarily banned me just to say fuck you to me for leaving, but I'd like to think they were merely good samaritans who saved me the hard work of closing my account because they're wonderful, reasonable people.


Well, my latest banning was the result of making comments that they construed as racist. Here is the comment in its entirety. Read it very closely, and I think you'll see that only the most unreasonable person would read it and find even a hint of racist undertones:

I considered interacting with black people once. I was walking down the street and I saw one. I was working up the courage to talk to him, but at the last second I freaked out and jumped into an alley because I remembered how mean and scary they can be on The Wire. There are some good blacks on that show like Bunk and Freamon, but a majority of them shoot people and sell drugs, so I got scared because I didn't want him to kill me and then try to sell me crack afterwards.

For the love of god, can somebody tell me why anyone would find even a single word of that racially ignorant or insensitive? Not only did I genuinely want to talk to black people, I even said that a couple of them that I see on TV are pretty nice guys. What could be less racist than that? Oh well, sometimes you just can't win.

Seriously, though. After the first 9 bullshit bannings, can't I get a free pass this once?