Psst, have you ever been to Juicy Campus? It's a website where you can completely anonymously talk shit about anybody at your college. Do you think somebody in your class is an asshole? Post it on Juicy Campus! Did you have sex with a girl and you want to tell everyone she's a slut? Get your ass to Juicy Campus! Do you want someone to get beaten within an inch of their life by a bunch of extremely pissed off frat boys? Break a bunch of their windows, then get on Juicy Campus and claim that other person did it. The possibilities are endless!
I have to admit that I go there on occasion to search my own name. I don't post anything derogatory about any of the sluts/players/unicorns that I know. I usually just search my name and call it a day. One time I had to fulfill my curiosity so I made a topic about myself with the message, "Can anybody stand this guy? Anybody?" Almost immediately a response came reading, "[real name omitted] is an opinionated know it all bastard who needs to learn to shut the fuck up and keep his opinions to himself."
Now first, let's take a quick moment to analyze that comment. I am an opinionated know it all bastard. Translated into nicer terms, he's basically saying that I have strong opinions and I believe they're right. That doesn't sound like an insult at all. It actually makes it sound like I have a lot in common with Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and Nelson Mandela. Nevermind that it perfectly describes Hitler too. That really doesn't help with the argument. As for needing to shut the fuck up and keep my opinions to myself, that one might hold some water. Whether it was the time I lashed out at the entire existence of my college's Student Government and the way its members are in it for entirely self-serving reasons and then repeatedly beat their chests over how they're in it to help the students, the time I went apeshit on somebody for cheating on a marital partner, or the day that I drunkenly screamed at a Girl Scout Troop and broke my bottle of Killians over one of their heads for selling me Peanut Butter Cookies that were a little too stale, maybe there is some virtue in keeping it to myself even though I know I'm right. There are some situations where shutting the fuck up and just letting something that I know is horribly wrong continue to go on because I can't stop it anyway is just a lot less stressful for all involved.
Then again, that comment was also followed with three comments from other people defending me and saying I'm funny and/or a good friend. There was also a comment saying that I pissed in somebody's beer for disagreeing with me on a TV show, and another saying that I rape puppies. I wrote those.
Anyways, I didn't really have a very strong opinion on this website for a while. Somebody did brutally criticize my personality, but I kinda asked for it, so it was hard to condemn the website for that. I didn't feel strongly for or against the site at all. Then, I saw this topic:
Topic title: John McCain will win and turn all niggers back to slaves
Topic text: And i cant wait for him to do it! Im gonna rape all the black bitches i get
my hands on. Go McCain 08!
No, that's not what bothered me. Whoever wrote that was obviously writing something deliberately offensive just to get a rise out of people. I can't really get pissed about that since it pretty much perfectly describes what it is to be a comedy writer. No, what bothered me was the responses. Here are a few:
"your a total dumb fuck and shouldnt even be allowed to post on here"
"who ever you are I feel sad for you because your ignorant, raceists, DUMB as HeLLL, and most of all a FOOL for saying what you just said. I will be very happy when you are behind bars
after you 'so-call' 'rape all these Black bitches I get my hands on.'"
"This is sad"
Think about the moral outrage of these Juicy Campus users, and then think about what being a Juicy Campus user normally entails. Put the pieces together and you might start to see why it pissed me off so much. I made this topic in response:
Topic title: I hate niggers so much
Topic text: Why is it that whenever people see a topic like this they get all morally outraged? You post on Juicy Campus where you anonymously call people assholes, sluts, rapists, and every other horrible thing imaginable BY NAME and then you get all high and mighty about something like racism? Fuck all of you. You're already at the moral level of Charles Manson by regularly posting on Juicy Campus in the first place. Fuck all of you in your hypocritical asses. Seriously, fuck all of you. I hope you all get stabbed in the face. Jesus fucking Christ.
Tags: Seriously, Fuck, You
And here's the real kicker: the post got deleted less than two minutes after I wrote it. We know the racism wasn't the problem because that other racist McCain topic is still there, so it's clear criticizing the user base was what did it. Let it be known that on this website you can call someone by name a cum-guzzling slut, or implicate them in a number of felonies, right on an easily Googled website, completely fucking up their employment opportunities, but criticizing the user base necessitates immediate deletion.
To the people who run Juicy Campus: If you're going to allow your website to be used as a tool to call people assholes, sluts, bitches, pricks, creepers, or whatever else, why can't I use the website to call a bunch of people hypocritical shitsucking fuckstains who need to realize that patting themselves on the back for fighting the good fight against racism doesn't absolve them from being miserable, pathetic, parasitic dildo crunching wastes of sperm?
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